The Woman of Belgravia Theme
1:56pm August 27, 2014
1:50pm August 27, 2014

actionables:

today this guy told me that my dress made my ass look fat (he sad it as a 'compliment') and obviously since it was 8:30 I was too tired for that shit and I replied with 'saying my ass is fat wont make your dick any bigger' and when he tried to defend himself saying his dick was big enough I told him that it doesn’t count if he shoved two thirds of it in his personality and he just looked at me completely defenseless AND BASICALLY I STOLE THAT LINE FROM HERE BUT I SLAYED

1:49pm August 27, 2014

ernbarassing:

if im on tumblr more than usual that means i have a lot of stuff i need to be doing and im trying to avoid doing it

1:49pm August 27, 2014

Jon Stewart Goes After Fox in Powerful Ferguson Monologue

10:28am August 27, 2014

strikerhercules:

» Because only Vin Diesel could ever be ridiculously nerdy enough to attend the UK world premiere red carpet for Guardians of the Galaxy wearing a “I am Groot” t-shirt and walking on stilts

10:25am August 27, 2014

aurimynonys:

gardendwarf:

i like how when people say “i love couples with size difference” they mean tiny girls with waists so thin the large men they are dating can put their entire hand around them and by love i mean where the FUCK are my tiny vain princes and their huge muscular knight women who don’t put up with any of their shit and hoist them over their shoulders and walk off when they’re having a princely temper tantrum your all WEAK

image

10:25am August 27, 2014

euo:

Blood Splatter: Quentin Tarantino

  1. Kill Bill Vol. 1 (2003)
  2. Django Unchained (2012)
10:31pm August 26, 2014

“i’m going to sleep at 10 tonight”

— i say before i proceed to stay up until 1, maybe 2 (via sept151983)
10:29pm August 26, 2014
whiskeydrinking-operating:

This is Chester. When I was in Afghanistan I got a care package from one of those “Adopt a Soldier” programs that lets families send care packages to service men and women who are deployed overseas. Anyway, I got this care package, and it came with the usual stuff: Baby wipes, crackers, peanut butter, the Dad threw in a pack of cigarettes, and there was some jerky. But there was also a little beanie baby gold fish and a hand written note from a 7 year old girl that said  “Dear Soldier, (I wasn’t even mad) I hope you are doing well. I’m sorry you have to miss thanksgiving with your family. This is my friend Chester. He keeps me safe from monsters, but I think you need him more than I do. I hope he keeps you safe from the monsters you’re fighting. Take good care of him for me”.
You bet your ass that little fish was in my pocket every time I went on patrol.

whiskeydrinking-operating:

This is Chester. When I was in Afghanistan I got a care package from one of those “Adopt a Soldier” programs that lets families send care packages to service men and women who are deployed overseas. Anyway, I got this care package, and it came with the usual stuff: Baby wipes, crackers, peanut butter, the Dad threw in a pack of cigarettes, and there was some jerky. But there was also a little beanie baby gold fish and a hand written note from a 7 year old girl that said
“Dear Soldier, (I wasn’t even mad)
I hope you are doing well. I’m sorry you have to miss thanksgiving with your family. This is my friend Chester. He keeps me safe from monsters, but I think you need him more than I do. I hope he keeps you safe from the monsters you’re fighting. Take good care of him for me”.

You bet your ass that little fish was in my pocket every time I went on patrol.

10:28pm August 26, 2014
  • Parent: What does a cow say?
  • Baby: Moo!
  • Parent: Yay!! What does a cat say?
  • Baby: Meow!
  • Parent: Great job! Now, what does a horse say?
  • Baby: *crying voice* hey Marco, I can't even tell which bones are yours anymore
10:28pm August 26, 2014

roshistarpupil:

theslowpokewell:

you guys make fun of brock’s eyes all the time

image

but brock can get with lucy, arguably one of the hottest pokemon girls, cause of his eyes

image

she has a thing for them

image

IVE NEVER NOTICED THIS

10:19pm August 26, 2014

e-zekiel:

jackwhitesturntable:

tanku:

this post is here to remind everybody that “gråtrunka” is the swedish word for “crying while masturbating”

That’s a real tear jerker

Did you just

10:18pm August 26, 2014
for-shits-and-hiddles:

autisticfandomthings:

opalhonors:

alongstrangeride:

gettin-nakie-outside:

equiroz:

A tiger walks into a liquor store…there’s no punchline here.

Is that… a frisbee?

He just wants to play catch

What I love is that it obviously takes the person at the counter a few seconds to process that that is in fact a tiger.
Like, you kinda see their brain going “dog, nope, cat, big cat, big cat with stripes, SHIT, tiger!!!”

And the two people who go dashing out with the distinctive “I have just encountered an unexpected tiger SHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT” run.

I like that the second guy leaves the chips or whatever those are. Like, he’s running and falling because TIGER but he will not accidentally shoplift

for-shits-and-hiddles:

autisticfandomthings:

opalhonors:

alongstrangeride:

gettin-nakie-outside:

equiroz:

A tiger walks into a liquor store…there’s no punchline here.

Is that… a frisbee?

He just wants to play catch

What I love is that it obviously takes the person at the counter a few seconds to process that that is in fact a tiger.

Like, you kinda see their brain going “dog, nope, cat, big cat, big cat with stripes, SHIT, tiger!!!”

And the two people who go dashing out with the distinctive “I have just encountered an unexpected tiger SHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT” run.

I like that the second guy leaves the chips or whatever those are. Like, he’s running and falling because TIGER but he will not accidentally shoplift

10:17pm August 26, 2014

thekatitube:

DOES ANYONE ELSE GET LIKE REALLY HAPPY WHEN SOMEONE LEANS THEIR HEAD ON YOUR SHOULDER AND YOURE LIKE FUCK YEAH IVE BEEN CHOSEN AND YOU FEEL REALLY SPECIAL BUT THEN YOU HAVE TO STAY SO FUCKIBG STILL COS IF YOU MOVE THEYLL STOP LEANING ON YOU AND ITS LIKE NO COME BACK IM SORRRRYUWYY